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Friday, October 18, 2002 3:33PM
I am happy, FREE and at Peace. That is all that matters for now and all time. From pain,
saddness and fear has come Love, generosity, respect, and JOY.
And in that joy there are new levels of understanding, Love and Freedom in every moment of every day in my life. And never shall I forget my roots of who I am, where and just how far I've come from!
Wednesday, July 24, 2002
6 YEARS AND COUNTING BABY!!!
In celebration of this most precious anniversary for me tonight my mother and I continued a very special tradition for
us both. Once again we treked to Wolftrap to see the Temptations and The Four Tops concert, celebrating who weare and
just how far we've come. It's been 2 years since Ron's death, 6 years since begining to change the way I ate
and lived and 8 years since mom lost 50 pounds! We have so much to celebrate over the years and so much to be thankful
for and to cherish in our lives now! It was so much fun, remembering all those moments, singing and dancing to the music
we both so love. I remembered all the miles ran to the beautiful words and NRG and spirit of their music. Still,
to this day it gives me that extra strength to "Run On and see what the end will be!"
May 6th, 2002 12:00AM
FREEEEDOM....FREEEDOM...
FREEEDOM!!!
This moment marks the 3rd anniversary of freedom for me! 3 years ago today at this moment I came out
to my friend Margie and never looked back. Three years later I have such an amazing feeling of joy, freedom, and comfort
inside myself. That moment was the begining of letting go of so many things and trying to live up to others expectations.
I have been extremely lucky that I've been able to completely embrace who I am. That at the core is what being an Eagle
is all about to me. I'm so very greatful I had the courage to be me at that moment and have chosen to every day since
then. I say YES TO TODAY! and always.....I
CHOOSE LIFE!!!
March 12, 2002!
25 Years ago on this date at exaclty 6:19 PM Eastern Time, one of the most magical, beautiful
spirits was reborn once again and sent off to do great work in this life. In his time here on Earth in these 25 years
he has brought both me and the rest of the world much joy and light and for that we are truly grateful. Today I celebrate
his life and work with him. Though I am not with him physically this year I am, as with all the other moents in
our lives, with him in spirit soaring higher each day above the clouds of life! Sending a big hug and EagleNRG to Venice
Beach for a wonderful Birthday!!!
xxx:)
January 22, 2002
Two years ago on this day as I had done many times in my life, I picked myself
up and got out of a horrendous situation. After much thought, words of advice from friends, and looking at the big picture
I decided to move back home. I left only three weeks earlier, escaping a situation between my parents, which had finally become
too much after thirteen years. I had spent the last year in a downward spiral, caught up in the toxic waste my family was
slinging at each other in their battles. However, once I was out I realized that which I was running from was in my new home,
only worse. And so, I picked myself up, and returned home. As I drove back home with my final carload of things I heard the
Beatles Here Comes the Sun playing on the radio. As I moved into the apartment I heard it on the radio and felt its message
deep inside. In this moment though, I felt the sunshine inside, a new day dawning, a new birth inside myself. I was ready
for the next phase to begin and as always in my life I RAN ON!!! Once again I have been faced with a question of my sanity
and happiness and am picking up once again and returning home. I await the next phase of the adventure and the messages waiting
to blow my way!
September 20, 2001
"The greatest thing you'll ever know is just to love and be loved in return!"
The events of last Tuesday's attack have affected the entire world. The times may seem dark now but out of the darkness
we will rise and rebuild bigger and better TOGETHER AS A PEOPLE IN UNITY! We must unite in peace and stop something like this
from happening again. We cannot allow ourselves to be controlled by the hate or grief for revenge will solve nothing. We still
must do something, all uniting in the dark, creating a new force of light to spread to the rest of the world!!
NEVER GIVE UP AND ALWAYS STAY ON THE PATH NO MATTER HOW DARK IT MAY SEEM FOR THERE IS ALWAYS LIGHT AHEAD WAITING
FOR YOU!!!
September 11, 2001
So much has happened in the last month. The events of today remain on my mind
along with the rest of the world. At 9:00 am this morning 2 planes crashed into the World Trade Center in New York City and
brought both towers down. At 10:30 another plane collided with the Pentagon in Washington DC. Another plane crashed in Illinois
as well as in Pittsburgh. Today was a very scary one at moments but one filled with important messages. Its sad that it does
take something like this to remind people how precious each moment of life is. My heart goes out to all those who have family,
friends, or are even acquaintances of those who were involved or killed in todays events. It is my hope that we can all come
together in this time of darkness and support one another and create a new light to rise out of the ashes. We will all rebuild
bigger and better and most importantly we shall all heal. I think one of the most beautiful things already is that I am talking
to people I usually dont speak to or havent spoken to in quite some time. Its very healing, and most of all......Human.
August 4, 2001
And so tonight I shall begin to say goodbye to Washington DC, the place I've come
to love and truly feel at home and nurtured by. Tonight shall be the last time I'm at Velvet in a while and even when I return
it shall be different for Richmond will have become my home again. I'm so very grateful for all the love shown to me and messages
sent while there. It nurtured Neil and sent him off when he left 6 months ago as it has for me. Now the time has come for
me to leave it as well for a time. Here we go.....
"My strength has been to open again, to live, and my victory is the fact that, despite it all, I kept alive
my vulnerability."
Tori Amos
"Shine and be a beacon of light and brillance to all!"
Neil
"Go
with your destiny!"
"Remember the sunshine inside us all!"
"Love lifted us up!!"
"Remember who you are always and always live each day true to yourself!"
Neil! We're flying above the clouds,
kissing the sky!!! "There is so much happiness don't ever stop!"
FLY my fellow eagle in the sun and sky!!!!
I
LOVE IT I LOVE IT!!!
"Baby, we gotta go out and dance like nobody's watching, and find love that won't ever hurt."
Jamey July 3, 2001.
Perfect comment about the life we all lead!
"Stand up for what you believe in even if no one
else is standing!"
"The real power in defining self lies within the self. We are all splendidly blessed with gifts of our own design
to give to the world. GET ON WITH THE GIVING, and STOP COMPARING YOURSELF TO OTHER PEOPLE AND THEIR STUFF."
Oprah
Winfrey
"I want you to open your hearts and see the world in a different way... You get from the world what you
give to the world. I promise this will change your life for the better."
-Oprah
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March 15, 2003
Ando so it is on this day I have chosen to make one of the most important shifts in all of my lives. Today I once
again have chosen life and made the decision to move to not only Washington DC but alone.
Thursday, November 21, 2002
6 Years ago today in another world wind moment which encoumpassed my year of great change
and rebirth, my grandfather passed away. It is hard to number one believe that he is not here to begin with for both
he and my dear grandmother are with me all the days of my life as I continue to strive for the best, break new ground, and
live up to my own greatness they always saw inside me. Its also difficult to believe it has been 6 years. For
so much has happened, so much time has passed and yet the memory of those moments are still fresh in my soul. In all
the time I knew him he loved to tell stories to other people, true or fiction. He always said he would one day write
them down in a book but never did. And now, here I am with an entire website telling my own stories, sharing my poetry
with the world and working on many different books to spread the message of Light to all the world. For in that I am
continuing his legacy and creating my own. He always said, "Don't put off tomorrow what you can do today." Though
he himself did this at times as we do once and while the spirit of that is always with me. For I have created my own
mottos and life anthems, created out of the love he showed me and the security I could never have found inside myself without
him. I am so very lucky to have shared his existence, even if it was brief. I Love You Eternally!
XXX :-)
Monday, October 21, 2002 10:40AM
And so tonight the Full Moon comes once again......
There is
so much Freedom and joy filling me up inside at times I almost feel I can not catch my breath. In this last week without even
trying I have been cleansed and transformed like never before. I feel a state of youth and clarity I've not felt in almost
15 years. Its so very funny and exciting for no matter how old I grow, how many challenges I face or how many lifetimes I
live the universe always restores me, keeping me youthful for all the ages. And here's to the Freedom in that! Here we go,
time to RUN ON and see what the end will be!
Thought for Today
"[A Heartsong] is the song in your heart that makes you want
to be a better person and to help others do the same."
-Mattie Stepanek
Tuesday, June 18, 2002
With time all things pass and new challenges are brought to each of us. Two years ago today the world as I knew
it changed forever. In an unexpected turn, the universe sent my family 1 more challenge, the final battle as it was
in the old phase, setting us free forever. Today marks the 2 year anniversary of my father's death.
Two years later I'm in a better place than ever where he is concerned, can now truly mourn his passing and celebrate
his life and all he has given me. For all he did to me he gave something very precious. He taught me
what a strong person I was early on in life. Whatever comes now I know I will always triumph in the end for I've
already overcome great obstacles.
I thank him for all that and so much more. I know he is in a happier, better place for him now.
I wish him all the best and send him all my Love and Light!!!
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| Venice Beach January, 2002 |
January 1, 2002
And so with the New Year comes a feeling of deeper focus inside me and I wish the
same for everyone else in the world. I've returned to California to celebrate it here with Neil. It was a perfect tone to
set for the New Year. I arrived Sunday morning to an amazing day! Last night as Neil and I danced and shouted with the countdown
we jumped up and down in celebration. It truly felt as though we were part of a larger family of people there. It was not
in a smoky club with people doing drugs but the very spirit of the night was one of giving and love for the entire event was
free. The dance floor we were on perfectly enough was dubbed "Club Freedom." As we danced we felt the new sense of freedom
wed both gained in the last year and he never looked better or free while dancing! It was so great! Dance baby, dance!
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Monday, December 3, 2001
A WAVE OF CHANGE!!!
This last year has been filled with massive changes
in my life. I feel very focused now more than ever. These last few months have been some of the most difficult in my life
but I've continued to RUN ON and SEE WHAT THE END WILL BE! I'm very excited for a break next week and to be back in DC for
Xmas soon and will be in CA seeing Neil again for New Years! I'm very excited and hope to have a new wave of pictures and
changes for the site after my return. More than ever before in the midst of all the craziness I feel a deep connection and
sense of calm inside myself. "And I share it!" CAUSE AS ALWAYS
I LOVE IT!!!
Sunday, September 23, 2001 11:48pm
Its late, I have an art project to do for tomorrow, and need
to sleep for I must go back to Richmond early in the morning. Yet I sit here, having just come from a night of joy. I came
home this weekend to go to Velvet Nation in DC and to be in the city to complete the healing process from the attacks on the
11th. I stood in the city last night and sent my energy out and felt the gentle wash of sunshine over me as I sent healing
energy to the rest of the world. Yet, my main focus for coming here was friends. Ive missed two of my dearest friends in the
world, Ronnie and Benny very much and came to stay with them. Yet, tonights gem was unexpected. Jamey came over, ate with
us and we went out to the National Cathedral in DC. It was so beautiful and just perfect in every sense. We sat in the Bishops
Rose Garden and shared hot chocolate and a strawberry smoothie and just talked
It was one of those talks where you come
away feeling a little lighter, a little freer inside and feeling content inside. I told Jamey, I don't have a boyfriend but
am truly blessed with some wonderful friends in my life. In that sense I really dont need one now.:)
My Love and Eagle
Light to you all!!!
Pleasant dreams!
August 12, 2001
Well, I've had my last day at American Mortgage Assistance and will miss everyone
there very much. There were so wonderful to me. Who knows? I may end up there again in the future. At the moment I'm enjoying
myself in California. The weather here is gorgeous and I'm having a wonderful time! I'll be seeing Neil in the next few days
and am so excited! We are so close! I can't believe it! LA look out! There's going to be 2 of us!:)I return to VA next week
to make my new home in Richmond. I'll be living with my friend Megan who is SOOO cute and we have the cutest place! I can't
wait! Love and Light to all and as always I love it and will never stop!!!
July 24, 2001
RUN ON HONEY! NEVER EVER STOP!
HAPPY ANNIVERSARY TO ME!:)
Five
years ago this month marks the anniversary of me making the decision to eat better and loose weight. On July 24, 2001 Mom
and I continued our tradition of seeing the Temptations and The Four Tops at Wolf Trap. This concert has always been a great
time for the 2 of us to bond and relfect on where we've been and where we're going. It also has special meaning because the
music of these 2 groups was some of my favorite to run to when I began excercising and is still very emotional for me to hear.
It reminds me of the days running and feeling my corpulent body shake and is such an achievement now each time I put on something
small or look in the mirror. One of the biggest achievements I feel comes from the inside when I'm able to sit and enjoy being
alone and connecting with my spirit and telling others my story. I had always allowed others to make me feel badly for wanting
to tell my story when all I wanted to do was help others by telling it. This is no longer the case. Last night as I walked
in DC with a friend of mine he told me how much he enjoys hearing my stories and how very empowering they are. He didn't know
how right he was. So, I shall continue to tell my story in the hopes that someone else out there might read it and find strength
in my triumph.
"They will continue the voyages we have begun and journey to all the undiscovered countries...boldy going
where no man.....where no on has gone before."
Captain James T. Kirk
Star Trek VI:The Undiscovered Country
"I will not surrender to it
I will not stop being me!
I will not give them the power to hurt me."
Tim
March 19, 2002
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Monday, June 2, 2003 4:33 PM
I am here.....
In a new place of Peace, Clarity and Prosperity...
A new adventure is here, right now..
I am in yet another new home far on the west....
I am in.....
Seattle....
And more than ever before I can truly say at this moment...
I LOVE IT!!!
Saturday, February 1, 2003
BABY THE NEW MOON IS HERE!!!
After a very long, difficult phase, spiritually, physically and emotionally the Light
of a new phase is shining through and as always....
I LOVE IT!!!
As I just drove back from DC with all the windows down, taking in the night air I heard
"Bring On the Rain" which fit my feelings at this moment perfectly. For tomorrow is another day and once again
"I'm thirsty, so Bring On the Rain!" Tonight I say to the world and all in the universe BRING IT ON!!!
And always shall I RUN ON! AND SEE WHAT THE END WILL BE!!!
September 26, 2002 3:14 AM
And so it is with wide arms and a smile that I welcome this new phase
of my life! It's so very exciting for I am FREE like never before inside and out! I feel completely reborn as a true Eagle.
This has not come out of a horrible situation, abuse, death, or the like. This has all come out of peace and letting go. This
past Full Moon was one of the most incredible yet! I sat on the couch with my roommates simply watching tv and relaxing. I
suddenly could feel my spirit releasing everything inside without my doing any kind of NRG work. Part of me knew it was time
to let go of things I held on to for so very long.
Now that Ben and I have parted and simply become friends and relasing
on the Full Moon, everything seems a little different somehow. It's a new level I've come to inside I never even knew of.
And I LOVE IT!
ALWAYS AND FOREVER!!!XXX
February 20, 2002
It is night.........
A night of wonder is upon us with magic, joy, and light in the air.......
I have flown up, above the clouds and joined the other eagles.....
Together we perched in the tufts of clouds among the stars watching the earthlights of the world burn brightly
belong and bask in the brillance of this moment.
We all have come home together to watch the land from afar as we enter the next phase of the journey........
There is nothing but complete clarity and solace in this moment....
And we choose life.......
Life on a high......
February 9, 2002
EAGLE'S ANNIVERSARY!!!
One year ago a huge wave began as the destiny waves of change came into my life for the better.....Neil moved to CA!
I drove up to DC from Richmond late at night to Neil's apartment in DC. We packed and decided to go walk around the
city and see the monuments. After 20 years of living in the DC area I still had never been to the Lincoln Memorial. So, Neil
and I went there in what was a powerful moment for us both. We stood there in that most historic place people have visited
for years...
We walked down the steps together, hands held gazing out at the reflecting pool and the beautiful city of DC. We
walked down, hands held, feeling the NRG of the thousands of Eagles and loved ones around the world surrounding us with Love
and Light!
A few hours later I drove him to National Airport and watched him take off to his destiny. This move came on suddenly
but was a freeing experience for the both of us. It has allowed a deeper connection to grow between the two of us though we
are farther away than ever and allowed me to come to know a very special place in the world.
A year later we are both
in a wonderful place! Its a magical day just as it was last year and like all the other days of my life I shall celebrate
it to the fullest and love it forever more!
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| Image of destiny courtesy of Neil |
January 1, 2002!
HAPPY NEW YEAR TO ALL!!!
And so, we begin anew yet again. A new year is here
filled with so many possibilities, adventures and opportunities for us all. We must continue to spread the light each of us
holds inside as we approach the dawn of a new age for the entire world. I hope everyone had an amazing New Year's Eve and
is ready for the challenges and messages the universe will present to each of us. Its such an exciting time for all of us
to be here now, living this magnificent life. Let the journey continue!
Thursday, December 20, 2001
RECLAIMING YOUR POWER INSIDE!
This evening I had one of the most
enjoyable car rides of my life! I spent almost 2 hours in the car on the interstate looking at the stars and listening to
the radio, reconnecting with myself. Loving it as always!
December 19, 2001
DON'T EVER TELL ME TO STOP!!!
Oh, what a wondrous, magical night it has been
filled with important messages. At this time of year many people are rushing around, hustling and bustling; shopping trying
to prepare for the holidays. They are on a search for the most expensive present, the shiniest pearl, and the biggest thing
they can find to show their love for others. I say to you as many times before but it is even more important now to TAKE A
MOMENT FOR YOURSELF! In the last few months I've felt a bit beaten down by the waves of change, which has swept through my
life. Yet after sitting tonight amongst the stars and reconnecting with myself I've seen the amazing growth inside myself
and in the rest of the world. At this point in the year we must all take a moment and reconnect with the light inside us and
share it with the world. We shall unite to create the brightest Christmas tree the world has ever seen, shining throughout
the whole world all year long with the light of HOPE! I do love it and thank the universe for it all and will keep that fire
and NRG inside always bubbling at the surface and never let anyone tell me to STOP!!! RUNNN ONNN!!!
August 17, 2001
I LOVE CALIFORNIA!!! I've been here all week and feel
amazing inside and out! San Francisco was fun, all be it a bit dramam filled at the end. I met some really wonderful people
by doing what I do best....JUST YACKING AS ALWAYS:). I made some new friends and got to see a few old ones. The last time
I went to see Neil in Venice back in March I met the most wonderful woman by the name of Rosemary. I love her! She cracks
me up! She says what she thinks, has the attitude I love with the goods and sweetness to balance it all out(can you tell I
love stong women with a mind?). I was able to get ahold of her and met her husband when they both took me out on a mini tour
of the city and showed me some great restaurants. I hope to be able to see them again before I return home. I also met another
wonderful person by the name of Eddie who gave me a late night tour of the city which was so gorgeous! Since I've been in
Venice Neil have been playing like old times but EVEN BETTER! I've watched him here with his many frineds thriving and am
so happy for him and am glad to see him make it like with any of my other friends. The ocean is gorgeous and whether walking
along the beach watching the sun set or blading on the boardwalk my spirit has been filled with absolute joy. Last night we
went to a Kareokee bar and had so much fun with his friends! i felt like I was at home in a new kind of loving environment
like none ever felt before. My spirit continues to soar here, as always it shall no matter where in the world, or universe
I am. I shall continue to spread my light and bask in the joy of others!
"A journey of a thousand miles begins with one step and a transformation of human understanding can begin with one thought
and one rebel. Every improvement in the human condition has come from someone pushing against the tide and speaking
out, no matter what the consequences. That person is within all of us. Rebellion and the desire for positive change is at
the heart of the human spirit."
David Icke - The Earth Needs Rebels
Adversity
Always continue the climb. It is possible for you to do whatever you
choose, if you first get to know who you are and are willing to work with a power that is greater than ourselves to do it.
Choice
That guy just cut right in front of me. But I'm not going to let it bother me. No. I'm
on my way to work and I decided it doesn't matter who wants to cut in front of my lane today. I'm not going to let it bother
me one bit. Once I get to work, find myself a parking space, if somebody wants to jump ahead of me and take it, I'm going
to let them.
Failure
Think like a queen. A queen is not afraid to fail. Failure is another steppingstone
to greatness.
Goals
If you want to accomplish the goals of your life, you have to begin with
the Spirit.
Possibilities
You can have it all. You just can't have it all at one time.
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